324 How the West Was Won (part 1 or 2)
Jason: This is Ben's, this is Carol's, this is Maggie's, this is Maggie's, this is
Maggie's, this is fun! Oh, hi, Ben. How was your day?
Ben: I've had better!
Jason: Yeah, what happened?
Ben: Mrs. Handel called me in during recess and reamed me for being truculent.
Jason: Do you know truculent means?
Ben: No but it can't be good.
Jason: Truculent means angry, ready to fight.
Ben: Oh, and there I thought it was serious.
Jason: That is serious, Ben.
Maggie: Hi guys!
Jason: Hi.
Maggie: How is the favorite man in my life?
Ben: Fine.
Jason: I am fine too.
Maggie: Oh, you did the laundry!
Jason: Yeah, in-between saving the sanity of half-a-dozen people.
Maggie: Well, you relax and sit down and relax, I will give you one of my famous back rubs, and then I will make dinner. (Pager Beeps) Uh-oh.
Jason: Oh, you knew that was going to be beep, didn't you?
Maggie: No and it doesn't mean that I have to go anywhere; it just means that
I have to call the newsroom. Ben and
Jason: Right.
Maggie: Hello, yes, this is Maggie Malone, you beeped me?
Jason: There was a time, Maggie, when only I beeped you.
Maggie: What?
Jason: I said there was a time when only ….
Maggie: Hush……yes, yes, right away; I will meet the crew there.
Ben: There goes dinner.
Maggie: There is a big disturbance at Dewy High, they sent six police cars.
Jason: Where is Mike?
Maggie: Hello? Carol? Where are you? What?
Jason: What?
Maggie: Er….? I can't hear ….Carol ….Carol?
Jason: Carol?
Maggie: That was Carol, she was calling from Dewy High. She didn't have time
to explain, but she said that she and Mike were about to be arrested.
Jason: What?
Ben: Sounds like Mike and Carol are being mighty truculent. Students: Heck no, we won't go! Heck no, we won't go!
Dearth: All right people, you are all making a big mistake! Willis Dearth will not
be intimidated by rabble. Do you mind Distil?
Maggie: Oh, will you look at all these kids!
Jason: It's a sit in!
Dearth: This is your last chance; the police are on their way.
Maggie: Honey, this is going to get ugly.
Jason: Brings back those good old days, doesn't it?
Maggie: There's Carol.
CameraMan: Maggie?
Maggie: Hi Bobby, this is my husband. CameraMan: Hello, Mr. Malone.
Jason: No, no, actually I'm …
CameraMan: This is great, isn't it?
Jason: Heck no, we won't go. Well it's catchy.
CameraMan: The rumor is that the real leader of this is some kid named Mike
Seaver.
Maggie: No!
CameraMan: Yeah, you know him Mrs. Malone?
Maggie: No, we never…
Jason: Well we should…
CameraMan: Well, let's find him.
Maggie: No, no, your camera might intimidate him. You should just let me find this kid, who probably it's really involved at all.
CameraMan: ok, I'm going to go shoot some B roll of the cops getting into their riot gear.
Jason: Hey……Mike.
Mike: Hey, mom and Dad, what you are guys doing here?
Maggie: We can discuss that in the car on the way home.
Mike: But we are just doing what dad did when he went to college.
Stabone: Doctor Seavor, Is it true that you single-handedly ended the Vietnam
War?
Jason: Oh, single-handedly would be a bit of an exaggeration. But I did….
Maggie: Carol? I expected you to have more sense.
Carol: Mom, when the cause is just the cost is worth any sacrifices.
Maggie: Well, this cause isn't worth the sacrifice.
Jason: Yeah, you haven't even heard the cause.
Mike: Yeah!
Maggie: Jason, can we discuss this later, there are police getting into riot gear.
Mike: I'm sorry, mom, but I won't go anywhere.
Maggie: Mike, I found it hard to believe that you've developed a commitment to anything beyond teenage girls.
Stabone: I was pretty shocked myself.
Mike: Mom, would you please just listen for a minute about what's going on here?
Jason: Well, Maggie, sit down
Maggie: Ok, I'll squat, but I won't sit.
Mike: Ok, it all started two days ago in Coach Lovett's class.
Coach: Which leads to this question, why did these people give up everything and head west in covered wagons? Let me repeat that, why did these people give up everything and head west in covered wagons? Stabone?
Stabone: Because if they head east they would have drowned. Coach: Stabone, if I ever call on you again just shoot me, ok? Stabone: Ok.
Coach: Come on people, we are talking about pioneers, heading west, and wagon trains, why did they do it?
Mike: Well they headed west for many reasons, some wanted the chances to start over; some wanted to make their fortunes; and some were even running from the law. What was common to all of them however, was the unyielding drive to follow a dream, even if that promise took them into danger and over the distant horizon.
Maggie: You expect us to believe that?
Mike: What?
Jason: It's better I squat too.
Carol: Mike just get to the part of the story that matters.
Mike: Ok, all right. So there we all were in class…..
Coach: Ok. Hold it people. Now remember people, your term reports are due tomorrow and it should be typed on a typewriter. You know the machine where you put the paper in it and it goes ….. Unless of course you have an IBM …ok class dismissed, unless your last name ends in “S”. That's right, I'm talking to you Seaver and Stabone.
Mike: But coach we didn't even do anything.
Coach: Including your homework and that's why both of you dim bulbs are going to sit here for as long as it takes to answer these 20 questions you were suppose to answer last night.
Mike: But coach, how were we supposed to answer these questions if we haven't even read the book?
Stabone: He thinks we are dim.
Coach: Here are the answer sheets; feel free to answer in pen, pencil or crayon.
I have to go down to see Dewitt, I will be back in about a half an hour, I expect to see something on those papers. No body fluids, Stabone.
Stabone: Mike, we are dead.
Mike: No, no, no, not necessarily. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Stabone: Are you kidding? Look at this, discuss the Donner party, what happened, and it's significance? I don't even know who's invited!
Mike: Bone, who is the girl in the third row with the falsies? Stabone: Susan Harris.
Mike: No, the other one. Stabone: Maloney Devonian.
Mike: No, no, the other one.
Stabone: Chloe Delano?
Mike: Yeah, that's the one. She always gets straight A's. Stabone: Mike, are you thinking about cheating off of her?
Mike: No, I thought of it already. Wow, what do we have here? Stabone: What?
Mike: It looks like coach Lovett's resume. Stabone: So?
Mike: It says here that he is 38 years old. I thought he was a lot older then that. Stabone: Maybe it's his kid's resume.
Mike: I think he lies about his age just like my mom does. Oh, look at this, it says the coach is married, can you picture coach Lovett with a wife?
Stabone: No.
Mike: I always imagined him living alone in a room somewhere, watching TV
while he drink beers and belched. Stabone: That's how I pictured him.
Mike: Who would want to marry coach Lovett? Girl: Excuse me.
Mike: Hello!
Cindy: Is coach Lovett here?
Mike: No, no, he just stepped out for a second; he went out to polish his head. Cindy: I'll tell him that when I get home.
Mike: What?
Cindy: He is my Dad.
Mike: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
Stabone: So are there any more at home like you?
Wendy: Hey Sidney, where is Dad?
Mike: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
Wendy: I don't believe I have had the pleasure… Cindy: Do either of you know where our father is? Stabone: He arth in heaven.
Mike: He said something about going to the principal's office and look, I am really, really sorry for what I said …..
Cindy: Don't worry, I won't really tell him you said he was out polishing his head.
Mike: Good.
Cindy: That is what you said. I don't want to misquote you. Got you.
Wendy: So…..
Cindy: He is not interested Wendy.
Wendy: Cindy, how could you say that?
Mike: Can you believe Lovett has daughters like that?
Stabone: Too bad when they get older, they could lose their hair.
Mike: I mean, I feel that after all this time, I even didn't know him at all. After he walks out of this building he actually has his own life. I mean what does he do?
Where does he live and does he have any more daughters that look like that?
Stabone: It is not possible .
Mike: I mean, aren't you curious about Lovett. Wouldn't you like to check him out?
Stabone: Yeah, but we don't have his address
Mike: Sure we do, we have his resume. Oh, his address is a PO Box. Stabone: Oh, if I lived in a box I'd be PO'ed too.
Mike: Mrs. McGill!
McGill: Mike! You haven't been to the principal's office in a long time.
Mike: Miss McGill, we‘ve got a problem. Mr. Datechio in detention, he is hiding under his desk again.
McGill: I had better go drag him out again.
The coach: Do you think, sir, there is any chance for these things to turn around, sir?
The principal: Oh, about as much chance as me being coming secretary of education.
Coach: So it's hopeless. I don't that. No offence, it was just ……
Mike: So we, Boner and I, were are off to find out about coach Lovett's secret life. We ended up outside his house. Over in JFK, only it wasn't a house, it was an apartment, and it looked like the kind of place where Cagney and Lacy pulled out their guns pretended they are men.
Stabone: So what do we do?
Mike: Well, we look.
Stabone: Ok. I'm ready to go.
Mike: Well, come on, lets look around, come on. It's Lovett! Stabone: We are going to get caught!
Mike: We are not going to get caught!
Stabone: Caught doing what? We are just a couple of guys cuddling on the floor
of a parked car.
Mike: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! Stabone: He is Catholic. We are you doing? Mike : Guess!
Stabone: Mike, you know we can get arrested for peeking in windows.
Mike: We are not going to peek; we are just going to check their fire escape to make sure that they are safe. We don't want anything happed to those Lovett girls, do we? Ok, the second floor. Come on.
Stabone: Yes, its probably two flights up.
Mike: This is it.
Stabone: He does belch!
Coach: Would you ask your mother to please control her bodily functions? Wife: Graham, it's the only hobby she has.
Girl: Mom, did you tell dad what the orthodontist said?
Coach: Yes, she did, and 1,600 dollars is just way too much money. Girl: But dad, I need…….
Mother: We can talk about it later.
Girl: If I don't get braces, I might as well become a nun.
Coach: That's a good idea. I heard nuns have a very nice dental plan. Girl: Dad.
Coach: All right, I want everybody in their rooms doing their homework; mother and I have some things that we need to talk about.
Girl: But Daddy?
Coach: Hut, hut, hut.. Everybody.
Mother: So honey, did you talk to Mr. Dewitt? Coach: Yeah, I talked to that Pea Brained twit.
Mother: And you changed his mind just like I said you would. See honey, I told you there was nothing to worry about.
Coach: I changed nothing, nada, zip zero. The little gofer didn't even listen to me. So as of the end of this semester, I am fired.
Mother: Oh Graham, what are we going to do? Coach: Hey, hey, hey, get that look off your face. Mother: What look?
Coach: You know, the same look you had when you found out you were pregnant again this last time.
Stabone: Mike, let's get out of here.
Mike: Yeah.
Coach: We've got nothing to worry about. You said my resume is out right? Mother: Yeah, twenty more today.
Coach: Now, ok. You'd think that an educator with my experience and qualification will be snapped up.
Mother: Oh Graham, you are absolutely right. I'm sure those first fifty just got lost in the mail
Stabone: Mike, I thought we were leaving. Mike : Yeah, yeah. We are.
Coach: Elizabeth put those pot-pies on hold for a for a while, I am going to step outside to get a fresh air.
Mother: ok
Coach: What am I going to do? What the hell am I going to do?
Mike: I couldn't believe what I was seeing. At first I thought he just must be sweating because the coach's sweats in a snow storm. But the more I looked I saw that he was crying.
Jason: Hey, long day, Mike?
Mike: I wanted to tell you guys but I don't know how to tell you what I found out without telling you how I found out. I didn't know what to do so I just acted cool,
so you guys wouldn't notice anything weird.
Jason: You're acting kind of weird tonight.
Mike: Oh, dad, good to see you too, if you guys will excuse me I have to go upstairs and do some homework.
Carol; Oh this is where I come into the story, I knew that something really serious was on mike's mind when he caught me exercising and didn't make one
of his cracks. Well, you know like quick, somebody push her back into the ocean
or she will die.
Mike: Carol I need to talk to you.
Carol: why? Then Mike told me everything he had seen and heard, I had never seen him like this. He was actually thinking about someone other than himself, and if that weren't enough he asked me, me the person who he never listens too, what he could do to save the coach's job.
Mike: Carol, look, this guy has really given me a lot and I just want a chance to give him something back.
Carol: Ok, Mike, what's your angle here?
Mike: Carol I am serious.
Carol: You?
Mike: Yes. Carol, what can I do to stop this?
Carol: Boy, I don't know.
Mike: What would you do if you were me?
Carol: Well the first thing I would do is to find a good skin doctor. Oh no, I am sorry, I couldn't let that opportunity pass.
Mike: Could you just try? I mean, when I came here, you were exercising, did you see me go…..?
Carol: The only solution that I could see was to show Mr. Dewitt that many students felt the same way as Mike, or if it didn't convince Dewitt, at least it would frighten him. So the next day, Boner, Mike and I spread the word, and got
300 signatures on the petition.
McGill: Ok he will see one of you now.
Mike: Oh, good luck. Carol
Carol: No, no, no. You started this whole thing.
Stabone: Well I would like to give Mr. Dewitt a piece of my mind.
Carol: You, you can't afford it. Go, Mike.
Mike: Yeah, but he hates me.
Carol: No he doesn't.
McGill: Yes he does.
Carol: Well it will be ok, just work on keeping the contempt out of your voice. McGill: With a little practice, it's easy. God I love my job.
The principal: Sit, how can I help be of help young man ?
Mike: Well, I am….
The principal: Seaver!
Mike: Hi, sir.
The principal: Well I don't know which one of your teachers sent you in here but
I have a meeting with a concerned student right now, so you'll just have to wait outside.
Mike: I am that concerned student sir.
The principal: Estelle, as soon as I'm done with Seaver I want to see you in here. TDQ: Make it quick.
Mike: Well you see, some of us found out that coach Lubbock is going to be fired
at the end of this semester.
The principal: Not true.
Mike: It's not?
The principal: No, his contract simply isn't being renewed, because there is a shortage of funds. It's a tragic loss, I'm sick about it. Thank you for coming in.
Mike: Excuse me for asking sir, but what's the difference between that and being fired.
The principal: Plenty you see, on the one hand there is ….and on the other hand
of course you have…what is this to you anyway, Seaver? What ‘s your angle here?
Mike: No angle, I like the coach and I don't want to see him go. I am not the only one; over 300 other kids signed this.
The principal: Why do we teach children how to write?
Mike: Coach Lovett is a good teacher, he cares.
The principal: But he is not paid to care; he is paid to win football games. Now, ordinarily I wouldn't say that in front of a student, but then you aren't much a student, so…
Mike: You know it's almost like you are saying that our opinion doesn't even count.
The principal: No, that's not almost like what I am saying, that's what I am saying.
Mike: But you can't….
The principal: Look Seaver, don't try to play mind games on Willy Dewitt. You don't have what it takes.
Mike: How can I play mind games on you when you don't even have a mind? (Ok that point, I probably went a teensy bit too far).
Mike: So we had to do something and this sitting in all that we…
Carol: Carol!
Mike: Carol could think of.
Jason: Mike I don't know what to say.
Maggie: Me either, I cannot believe you talked to your principal that way.
Jason: Maggie, he's just standing for something he believes in.
Maggie: Well, if he would just stand up now, we wouldn't have a problem.
Mike: Mom, just take a look around you, I mean the whole school is buying
Coach Lovett.
The police: This is an unlawful assembly, you will all disperse immediately or you will be arrested.
Mike: Hey, where are you going? Can you believe this, Boner? Boner: I have got to go Mike; I am not allowed to get arrested.
CameraMan: We are going live in less then a minute and there is no violence, there is no blood and there is no gore. This is news it's sesame street.
Mike: All right, hold on everybody, look there is a lot more at stake here then just being arrested and getting our heads bashed in with blood and guts… well we don't need to dwell on that. But I am here to save Coach Lovett and I am
staying
Boner: You are?
Mike: I are!
The Principal: This is going on your record, Mr. Seaver.
Carol: I am staying too.
Stabone: Me too, I mean my folks can't punish me if I'm in jail .
Maggie: Mike, Carol, please lets go, they are talking about having you arrested. Please, why bother the policemen?
Mike: I am sorry mom, but I am in this thing and I am staying.
Carrol: They will have to bashed in our heads and carry out our limp bodies. CameraMan: You'll wait tell we go on live young lady.
Maggie: Jason, will you please talk some sense into these kids?
Jason: Look kids, here I think that, ummm…..
Maggie: Jason, what are you doing?
Jason: I am sitting in .
Students: Yeah!!
CameraMan: Stand by Maggie.
Students: Heck no, he won't go. Heck no, he won't go.
Maggie: Jason?
Jason: Sorry honey but…
CameraMan: 5, 4,3,2…
Maggie: What's the matter with you people? I mean what's going…
CameraMan: 1!!
Maggie: This is Maggie Malone, I'm here in Dewy High School, where a protest broke out earlier this afternoon, centering around the firing of a teacher…. Police: You have had your final warning, you are all under arrest.
Maggie: Oh, they are all under arrest. Police: You have the right to remain silent.
Maggie: They have the right to remain silent. Police: You have the right to an attorney….
Maggie: Watch their heads you Nazis!!!